life...or something

Jeanne once joked that my theme song should be "Everything to Everyone," because once someone is considered a friend, I usually am loyal to a fault. I give second chances. And thirds. I tend to look for the good side in everything. I want to believe that the people around me will change the world with their wit and talents. I can count the number of times this has seriously backfired on one hand. I am definitely more skeptical about life right now than I once was, but I almost always turn these moments back around on myself. Funny how that works. And I can do it in several languages too! So what is it that keeps bringing me right back to believing in those around me, when it finally starts to heal? I haven't figured that out yet. And so it's happened once again. Right under my nose, and I still want to think more of him than I should, no matter what it does to me. Good thing I'm going to Arizona in just a few more days. I need to get away and try to clear my mind someplace new. Who knows? Maybe I will decide -- for once -- I just don't care this time.