firsts

Maybe 'cause it's December or the end of my teaching or a Monday, this morning was the perfect time for reflection. This past year was one of many firsts. It marked an end to somethings that were familiar and comfortable in my life. It was the beginning of something new. It was the first time I was not near my family for a long time, where it was not easy to stop by for a visit. It was the first time that I showed someone outside of my family poems I had written. It was the first time I fell in love. And let myself tell him I what I felt. It was a year of trials and adventures. It was the first time I was apart from my best friends for the better part of a year. It was the first time I saw that I could live in another country in the future and really want to be there instead of here. It was the first time I felt like a real grown-up, and maybe that is part of why this fall has been so hard. This fall was a return to the familiar of the past, but this place is only shadows of my memories. It's a place I will always feel welcomed and at home, and yet it is no longer mine. I'm looking forward to moving on to something new in a few weeks, glad to leave the past behind, and not make the same mistakes again. It's going to be hard. I know that, but that is what makes it so exciting.